My a-ha! moments
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
I was speaking to Pastor Jon today. I really thank God so much for great leaders in my church. Just like Solomon, I feel he can answer any question. Nothing that I ask is too difficult for him to answer. (Read 1 Kings 10:3).
So, he says, all the work that I do is not work. It's worship. I love God, and so I desire to please Him. I need to keep my eyes on the prize. Don't stop looking at God, because that is precisely what the devil wants. "Look at you" he whispers. "You call yourself a Christian? Can you believe what you were thinking? You don't even practice what you preach". I'll never be good enough. I know this. And I can't say, "Ok, this is not my responsibility", because it is. But the distance between where I am now, and where I should be is called "Grace". Do I stop trying? No, I don't. But now the burden is lifted. Because what I do is not work. It's worship. I don't have to try so hard. I just have to look at the cross, and in light of what He did, what I need to do becomes easy. The other thing I realized is that I don't have the resources to be better. Only He does. I can't be more patient, gracious, kind or loving in myself. I need Him to give me those things.
My house mate asked me the other day why I put so many limitations on myself. Why do I bother with so many boundaries if it doesn't make me happy? Well, I think God is more interested in my character than He is in my comfort. He is a good God, and He wants good things for me. This, of course, needs to be seen in light of eternity. If I was only interested in my present state, the sky's the limit as to what I would be indulging in.Do hard things
. I like that. Shout out to daFunkyMonkey
for introducing me to the site. Why SHOULDN'T we be challenged? Why should we settle for mediocrity? Should we always give in to pleasure, laziness, and convenience? I should certainly hope not. C'mon, world. BRING IT ON!!!! No matter what you throw at me, there is nothing that my God cannot restore, redeem, and rebuild.
So, in summary:
Aha! moment #1: I need to keep my eyes focused on the prize instead of myself.
Aha! moment #2: I can't make myself better. Only Christ can save me.
Aha! moment #3: I can take on the world, because He has already overcome.
What has been happening
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
Ok... time for an update.
Well, I went to Sydney, came back, and I've made my decision.
I'm now applying to go to Sydney Missionary & Bible College (SMBC) in Feb 2008. I'll be leaving some things with my friend in Adelaide who will mail my stuff to me when I have an address in Sydney. So right now, I'm still busy with the application stuff. Medical check-ups, so on so forth. So, Malaysian friends, look out for me! I'll be coming home soon. After graduation, that is. Thinking what hairstyle I wanna get for the ceremony. Suggestions are welcome. =)
I've finished re-reading the Potter series. Just finished the final book abt a week ago. It was good. Very satisfactory ending. I can envision the movie already. *grins*
Which reminds me, I was telling Davin the other day, that I still feel I'm a kid. I still want to believe that there are mystical beasts and magical lands waiting to be discovered. Of course reality prevails, but that doesn't mean I can't dream, right? =D
Currently, a most perplexing thought has been haunting my mind. Jesus says "Come to me all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Matthew 11:28-30). But I have never felt that His burden was an easy one to bear. Two commandments, right? "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'There is no commandment greater than these." (Mark 12:30-31).
But loving God with all my heart, soul, mind and strength makes me CONSTANTLY aware of myself and the condition of my heart (which obviously isn't a very pretty sight). Loving others is not much easier. Not just because some people are difficult to love, but because in not loving others as I should, I become more aware of how little I love God, and how imperfect I am. So how in the world can this burden be light? I don't see it. I feel more burdened, more weary, having to constantly repent, constantly love, constantly improve, constantly surrender. In thinking and reflecting upon this, I realize that I'm not enjoying the ride. How does one enjoy the ride with so much weight on their shoulders, and knowing that it's not actually their burden to bear? Having said that, I can't very well stand at the edge, and say, "Ok God, You jump." Isn't that just being irresponsible? Sigh...
Ok, enough depressing stuff. My parents and Selina are coming to Adelaide! Wheeeeeeeee!!!!!!
p.s. if there's anything you guys would like from oz, please tell me now so i can allocate cash and space in my luggage. =)