So, it appears that I can't do the internship program at Edge Church. Apparently I can't extend my visa based on that course, so... if I were to do it, it would be illegal. Heh. I was actually really upset about it. I knew that there was a possibility I wouldn't be able to do it, so I was aware of the situation. But I was still hoping.
Couple of weeks back, I seemed to have so many options, I didn't know what to do with them. I prayed to God that He would shut the door on whichever was not in His will. I prayed and asked, believing God would do His thing, and everything would be ok. I thought that I could surrender, and be able to accept that whatever the outcome was, it was God's will.
Before I even woke up this morning, the song 'I surrender all' was playing in my head. *Lightbulb goes off in Qian's head even though she's still sleeping* I was like, man... You're such a hypocrite, Qian. You thought that you could surrender the outcome to God, but when God actually gives you the answer, you're unhappy with it. I didn't want God's answer. I wanted God to give me MY answer. I wanted God to say, yes, go to Edge. Do the internship. But that's not surrendering His will. That's imposing my will on God. (This is where I have to question whether I'm reading the same Bible as everyone else). It's not MY kingdom come, MY will be done, on earth as it SHOULD be in heaven. It's YOUR kingdom come, YOUR WILL BE DONE, on earth as it IS in heaven.
So, I will be joyful. I will be thankful that God closed that door. Because if I had chosen to do it anyway, it would not have been in God's will. And I want to be in God's will. *Plus it would be illegal, and I'd probably have my butt kicked back to Malaysia*
*Edit* Sermon notes from 13/06/07: - Getting what you ask for may not be what's best for your future. - God will give me the right answer even if it's not the answer that I want.
If you ask for the wrong thing at the wrong time, God says 'No' If you ask for the right thing at the wrong time, God says 'Slow' If you ask for the wrong thing at the right time, God says 'Grow' If you ask for the right thing at the right time, God says 'Go'
"The final irony is this --- when we submit to the will of God it is for our own good. It is to be truly alive. When Jesus submitted to the Cross, there was pain yes, but the Cross was the pathway to Glory and to the blessing of many. We do not lose when we ask the Lord what He expects of us. And obey...Trust and obey. It's still our best move." - Tan, S.I. (2007). ________________________________________________________ No, it's not the hymn version. Go ahead and listen.
All to Jesus I surrender All to Him I freely give I will ever love and trust Him In His presence daily live
CHORUS: I surrender all, I surrender all All to Thee, my blessed Savior I surrender all
And all to Jesus I surrender Humbly at His feet I bow Worldly pleasures all forsaken Take me Jesus, take me now
Lord I give to You, all I ever had And everything I was, and everything I am And now I lay it down, I lay it at Your feet To Your grace, to Your power I surrender all
Lord, I give myself to Thee Fill me with Thy love and power Let Thy blessing fall on me
Welcome to this hobbit's habitat. Yes, I am short, but I don't have furry feet, ok? thank you very much. I love to sing, and dance. Love coffee, and music (anything but heavy metal). Please leave comments!!!