Loneliness that haunts the heart
Monday, April 02, 2007

The nights are the worst. After dinner, when I'm supposed to be doing work. When everyone's in their rooms watching movies, playing games, talking to their loved ones. When the weather's too cold to be sitting outside or walk to someone's house. And whose house would I go to anyway? When I feel so tired, so weary of trying to live, then I try to escape into sleep. The problem with that is, soon enough, you have to wake up again. Plus, you'll probably never get any work done.

So I tried looking for some quotes, to see if some poetic soul has felt the same pangs of loneliness as I. And I couldn't help but notice that just above the category for "Love" is Loneliness. Sigh... Maybe love will come my way again someday. But for now, loneliness is my shadow.


To dare to live alone is the rarest courage; since there are many who would rather meet their bitterest enemy in the field, than their own hearts in their closet. - Charles Caleb Colton

There is no greater sorrow than to recall in misery the time when we were happy. - Dante

We're all lonely for something we don't know we're lonely for. How else to explain the curious feeling that goes around feeling like missing somebody we've never even met? - David Foster Wallace

It is loneliness that makes the loudest noise. This is true of men as of dogs. - Eric Hoffer

Oh, sweet sorrow, the time you borrow, will you be here when i wake up tomorrow? - Katherine Wolf

Loneliness the clearest of crystal insight into your own soul, its the fear of one's own self that haunts the lonely. - Keith Haynie

There is no pleasure to me without communication: there is not so much as a sprightly thought comes into my mind that it does not grieve me to have produced alone, and that I have no one to tell it to. - Michel Eyquem De Montaigne

The person who tries to live alone will not succeed as a human being. His heart withers if it does not answer another heart. His mind shrinks away if he hears only the echoes of his own thoughts and finds no other inspiration. - Pearl S. Buck

And I look again towards the sky as the raindrops mix with the tears I cry. - Unknown

One may have a blazing hearth in one's soul, and yet no one ever comes to sit by it. - Vincent van Gogh

And now, from one of my favorite authors, Neil Gaiman, on love:

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love."

I really need to have a good cry. The bloody tears just won't come out.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

You can always hop over to my place. Or pack me in a suitcase to yours if you want :)


April 3, 2007 at 10:20 AM

Blogger Siddharth said...

I am not in the best of moods. I was seeking a description to understand my state. Your post and those quotes came close. Thanks.

April 4, 2007 at 2:29 AM

Anonymous jann said...

hey u! cant believe we're blogging bout the same thing. u do know that i know how u feel do u? while reading ur post it felt like reading my own. i should cut and paste! haha. since everything was explained so well. well, that's life. guess we need to find God... it's hard i know. eh we're in the same boat so of cuz i know what you're thinking. well, let's go through it together ok! hmm..we're not that lonely after all..since we are in the same boat right? haha. but yea, i know it's kindda hard since we're so far. but hey, internet! i wanna be there for u gal. open yourself up and you'll realize you're actually not that lonely..=) it's all bout our thinking. i understand.

April 4, 2007 at 2:36 AM

Blogger astrorat said...

i am sorry you are hurting. I am glad that you have the strength to do what you are doing.

Take care

April 4, 2007 at 11:53 AM

Blogger HobbiT said...

ezZtheRr: Can I minus the suitcase and you just come over? Hehe... Come la! Bring food. =p

siddharth: Glad I could be of help. =)

jann: I think there's a compliment somewhere in there abt my amazing writing skills, but I'm not sure. =p But ultimately, I'd rather just be comfortable being alone. Big difference, you know. You can be alone, but not feel lonely.

astrorat: Thank you, sweetie. I hope I have enough strength. *smiles wryly* With friends and a lot of prayer, I think I just might pull through. =) Thanks for stopping by. So nice to hear from you.

April 4, 2007 at 3:19 PM

Blogger jezamine said...


more poems. from a friend of mine


April 5, 2007 at 2:12 PM

Blogger andrea said...

hey baby...i'm feeling your pain...will call u soon k?

April 9, 2007 at 10:34 AM


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