Definitions
Thursday, September 14, 2006
Everyone needs a break once in awhile. So take a breather, have a laugh, and then carry on with whatever it is you were doing.
1. Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in
paper with fire at one end & a fool at the
other.
2. Love affairs: Something like cricket where
one-day internationals are more popular than a
five day test.
3. Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man
loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her
master
4. Divorce: Future tense of marriage
5. Lecture: An art of transferring information
from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of
the students without passing through "the minds
of either".
6. Conference: The confusion of one man
multiplied by the number present.
7. Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in
such a way that everybody believes he got the
biggest piece.
8. Tears: The hydraulic force by which
masculine will-power is defeated by feminine
water-power.
9. Dictionary: A place where divorce comes
before marriage.
10. Conference Room: A place where everybody
talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees
later on.
11. Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are
going to feel a feeling you have never felt
before.
12. Classic : A book which people praise, but do
not read.
13. Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things
straight.
14. Office: A place where you can relax after
your strenuous home life.
15. Yawn: The only time some married men ever
get to open their mouth.
16. Etc.: A sign to make others believe that
you know more than you actually do.
17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing
individually and sit to decide that nothing can
be done together.
18. Experience: The name men give to their
mistakes.
19. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all
inventions.
20. Philosopher: A fool who torments himself
during life, to be spoken of when dead.
21. Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to
hell in such a way that you actually look
forward to the trip.
22. Opportunist: A person who starts taking a
bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
23. Optimist: A person who while falling from
Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not
injured yet."
24. Pessimist: - A person who says that O is the
last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter
in the word OPPORTUNITY.
25. Miser: A person who lives poor so that he
can die rich.
26. Father: A banker provided by nature.
27. Criminal: A guy no different from the
rest... except that he got caught.
28. Boss : Someone who is early when you are
late and late when you are early.
29. Politician : One who shakes your hand before
elections and your confidence after.
30. Doctor : A person who kills your ills by
pills, and kills you with his bills.
31. Computer Engineer : One who gets paid for
reading lists like this.
posted by HobbiT at Thursday, September 14, 2006
2 Comments:
totally hilarious !!!! wa haa aha ah ahhhhahhah ....... ok ok how much do i owe u for that laugh????
September 16, 2006 at 1:44 PM
spike: hahah! i'm just glad you had a good laugh! hehe.... although i won't say no to cheesecake! ahahha!
September 17, 2006 at 12:12 AM
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