Definitions
Thursday, September 14, 2006


Everyone needs a break once in awhile. So take a breather, have a laugh, and then carry on with whatever it is you were doing.

1. Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in
paper with fire at one end & a fool at the
other.

2. Love affairs: Something like cricket where
one-day internationals are more popular than a
five day test.

3. Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man
loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her
master

4. Divorce: Future tense of marriage

5. Lecture: An art of transferring information
from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of
the students without passing through "the minds
of either".

6. Conference: The confusion of one man
multiplied by the number present.

7. Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in
such a way that everybody believes he got the
biggest piece.

8. Tears: The hydraulic force by which
masculine will-power is defeated by feminine
water-power.

9. Dictionary: A place where divorce comes
before marriage.

10. Conference Room: A place where everybody
talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees
later on.

11. Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are
going to feel a feeling you have never felt
before.

12. Classic : A book which people praise, but do
not read.

13. Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things
straight.

14. Office: A place where you can relax after
your strenuous home life.

15. Yawn: The only time some married men ever
get to open their mouth.

16. Etc.: A sign to make others believe that
you know more than you actually do.

17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing
individually and sit to decide that nothing can
be done together.

18. Experience: The name men give to their
mistakes.

19. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all
inventions.

20. Philosopher: A fool who torments himself
during life, to be spoken of when dead.

21. Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to
hell in such a way that you actually look
forward to the trip.

22. Opportunist: A person who starts taking a
bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

23. Optimist: A person who while falling from
Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not
injured yet."

24. Pessimist: - A person who says that O is the
last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter
in the word OPPORTUNITY.

25. Miser: A person who lives poor so that he
can die rich.

26. Father: A banker provided by nature.

27. Criminal: A guy no different from the
rest... except that he got caught.

28. Boss : Someone who is early when you are
late and late when you are early.

29. Politician : One who shakes your hand before
elections and your confidence after.

30. Doctor : A person who kills your ills by
pills, and kills you with his bills.

31. Computer Engineer : One who gets paid for
reading lists like this.

2 Comments:

Anonymous spike said...

totally hilarious !!!! wa haa aha ah ahhhhahhah ....... ok ok how much do i owe u for that laugh????

September 16, 2006 at 1:44 PM

 
Blogger HobbiT said...

spike: hahah! i'm just glad you had a good laugh! hehe.... although i won't say no to cheesecake! ahahha!

September 17, 2006 at 12:12 AM

 

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